Posts about craps puns written by lokispeaks Here we are in another gaming establishment. Different decorating scheme, same gussied-up, over-moneyed people. Whether slipping "dice" into a single word (like, I dunno, "endicement") or substituting it into a phrase ("What killed the dinosaurs? The Dice. Oct 13, · This Site Might Help You. RE: crap jokes / one-liners? -there are 3 types of people: those who can count and those who can't. -there are 10 types of Status: Resolved.
You Poke her face Why did the bee get married? Lunch is on me Why did you bury the battery? Just so long as you're out of the house by noon! Post Office, cause it had a lot of letters. I got a full house and four people died. Cause it would then be a foot Did you know that Michael Jordan can jump higher than my house?
Foot Cramps and Pins And Needles
What did the dealer say to the deck of cards? What do craps dealers eat for dessert? How's a casino like a good woman? Liquor in the front, poker in the back! What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it! How can you tell if a poker player is bluffing? His chips are moving. When is the only time you split tens in BlackJack? When the table is full and your buddies need a seat.
What kind of shark is always gambling? Why isn't gambling allowed in Africa? Because of all the cheetahs Q: What does a gambling addict eat? Poker Chips and Salsa. How were Adam and Eve prevented from gambling?
Their paradise pair-o-dice was taken away from them! What does a BlackJack player eat for dinner? Whatever his comp card allows him to. Whats the difference between poker players and politicans? Politicans tell the truth. Whats the difference between online poker and live poker? You can cry after a bad beat online and no one will laugh at you.
What's the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years, the dog quits whining. What did a blonde from England bring a bag of french fries to a poker game?
He gasped, as cum squirted out from the head of his dick all over the face of Cassie, dripping down her chin. Taking a nearby rope, he tied Jake's hands to the altar's corners. Sama. The other boys went home. By 1991, most agreed that married people who had an occasional affair had a substantial risk of getting AIDS. She rocked, as Jeff drove his two fingers deep into her crotch.
What is faster Hot or cold? Hot, cause you can catch a cold What happened to the goldfish who was bankrupt? How do you drive this thing How do you wake up Lady gaga? You Poke her face Why did the bee get married?
Because he found his honey. A stick Why did the student eat his homework? Cause it would then be a foot Did you know that Michael Jordan can jump higher than my house? Testical What did Beethoven and Mozart turn into when they died? Bach The sound What do you feed an invisible cat? Evaporated milk What do you do when you swallow your pen? What do you call a dear with no eyes? No idea no eye dear Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 ate 9 Which letter of the alphabet is dead?
Red paint Why does it take forever for a pirate to learn the alphabet? Cause he spent a long time at C sea Why did the man driving the train get struck by lightning? Cause he was a good conductor Why did the tomato blush? Cause it saw the salad dressing What do you call a monkey in a minefield? What days are the strongest in the week? Saturdays and Sundays, cause the rest are weekdays. Why did the bike fall over? Cause it was too tired two tired When does it rain money?
What did the plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me Why did you bury the battery? Cause it was dead What is the longest word? Post Office, cause it had a lot of letters. Why is a stadium hot after a football match? Cause all the fans left One day Superman and Batman decided to have a race, who won the race? Superman, cause when Batman begins, Superman returns And a racist one: Batman can go out at night without robin robbing.
If you removed either or both of the bets from betting spot 1 or 2, you receive NO payout for the removed bet. Let It Ride odds are better than Caribbean Stud Poker, though not as player-friendly as famous games like blackjack, baccarat, and craps. Follow the strategies below to increase your odds of winning. Correct Strategy for the First Bet The correct strategy for whether or not to let the first bet ride is as follows: If you have a winning hand in your three cards, you should let it ride.
If you have three cards to a straight flush that are higher than , you should let it ride. If you have three cards to a straight flush with a gap, and one of the cards is 10 or higher, you should let it ride. If you have three cards to a straight flush with two gaps, and two of the cards are 10 or higher, you should let it ride.
Otherwise, pull back your bet. One point of clarification is that a gap means that a card is missing from a sequence. For example, a has two gaps—the 7 and the 9. On the other hand, a has no gaps. This strategy probably seems conservative. Correct Strategy for the Second Bet The correct strategy for whether or not to let the second bet ride is as follows: If you have any kind of winning hand, let it ride.
If you have four cards to a straight flush, let it ride. If you have four cards to a flush, let it ride. If you have four cards to an outside straight, and at least one of those cards is a 10 or higher, let it ride.
Drawing to an outside straight means that you have two possible cards that can complete your straight. The overall wager is placed on three different symbols, with one-third of the betting stake placed on each symbol: The dealer deals two community cards. The ante bet remains no matter what. After the players place their bets, the dealer hands three hole cards to each player.